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Unlove
She mourns that she is inexplicably drawn to unavailable men.
To everyone else it’s perfectly explicable:
Her objects of yearning are charming golden boys that all the women want.
Unsurprisingly, the men are drawn to her ostensibly reluctant attraction
Her non-hesitation to sacrifice herself to the insensibility of the impractical love
That she invariably inconveniently finds herself in.
It’s love; it’s undeniable, she tells herself and everyone else. Isn’t it tragic?
Everyone nods in sympathy… to a point. A point she overtakes without a thought.
While in everyone else unsympathy grows followed by indifference.
They don’t see the situation’s inherent unavoidability; love is inescapable, she tells herself.
Everyone else can see that to her its inconvenience is irresistible.
One by one they recognise she is irredeemable, and drift away.
Alone with her inopportune love, romance sharpened by an un-understanding world,
Soon she is crying to him uncontrollably that she can’t help loving him unrestrainedly
And she wishes it wasn’t so inexorable, her heart so incorrigible.
In the face of such unarguable helplessness, seduced by such unashamed self-unrespect
He unamazingly, unabashedly helps her consummate her love
While her tears of weakness and capitulation stream unhindered.
Life is now unfettered by any unhappinesses
Merely occasional unsurety on the days he is home late unexplained
And when he unexpectedly can’t meet her and her friends, and glances are exchanged.
When at last he tells her he has inadvertently fucked someone else
While she progresses from enraged to inconsolable to inflexible unforgiveness
She knows that her love is so absolute that her life is unworthy without him.
At her door a few unsleeping nights later, he says loves her unequivocally, misses her unbearably
That if her love was truly inconquerable she wouldn’t let this unmake them
She wouldn’t so quickly unremember what they had.
In the face of his unassailable logic on the illogic of love
She can’t help but unfreeze and water drips from her lashes
They seal the end of unforgiveness with lovemaking on the floor.
There are bright spots when she has his attention undivided
To balance the nonappearances and delays.
Still, never has she been so alone, although with love for company
She mourns that she loves this unavailable man so incapacitatingly
That he is so often unavailable to her and recklessly available to others
And she accepts what seems unacceptable because of the unreasonability of love.
She settles to a life of uncertainty, irregularity and unspoken fears
Because true love is immoveable, unyielding, endless
No matter how uncaring, insensitive and mistreating its object
All those things are external, inconsequential, immaterial against her immeasurable love.
